7 ways I simplify travel for myself and my family
Holidays with kids - it's something that I always really look forward to, yet at the same time, I tend to get stressed out about it really quickly. Travel in itself - be it by train, plane or car, can be a lot for an adult, never mind little kids. Add to that mix packing for the whole family and organising the whole trip - and it can very quickly get overwhelming.
When our first son was born, we decided to keep on travelling as much as possible. In his first year, we took him to Luxembourg, Copenhagen, Mallorca, Paris, Brighton and Singapore. Other than having to navigate the additional baggage (flying with a car seat AND a stroller definitely requires more than two pairs of hands!), the trips were all rather smooth, our little one often slept in the airplane and was generally easily entertained.
Just before his first birthday, the pandemic hit, which meant that we spent a large amount of time back home, did some road trips in Europe when we were able to and generally got into a complete different routine. By the time covid restrictions eased up, I was pregnant with our second baby. So we took it easy for quite some time.
Once our second baby was born, it took me quite a long time to find a real routine. Even a trip to visit my parents in Luxembourg felt very overwhelming to me, so we postponed it several times. It felt like my whole life was chaos and overwhelm and I did not have the space or capacity to add packing bags for the kids and me to that list. Surprisingly, even though many things still felt really hard with two kids for more than a year and I've only started to relax into my role as a mum of two recently (my oldest is now 19 months old) - I had this urge to travel to Singapore last Summer. We hadn't been in 2 years and during the pandemic, I really missed being able to go back and visit my family, spend time with friends, the food, the humidity, our favourite places and little habits and routines. So that was our first trip with a 7-month old and a 3.5-year old.
Since then, it feels like we've slowly gotten the hang of it. This summer, we travelled to Glasgow and then Brighton for 2.5 weeks to visit friends and spend time with family. It does require a lot of planning and communicating to create holidays that fulfill everyone's needs and at the same time are somewhat relaxing for all of us.
Because let's face it - with little kids, the days of lying by the beach, sipping cocktails and reading books are over for now! However, we still need our downtime, we still need to be able to relax and recover during this break, so some planning is always key for us. I've tried to simplify as much as I can, even though it's not always possible with little kids. So let me share some ways that work for me and my family:
Planning enough time for packing: while I can pack a weekend bag for myself in less than 5 minutes and am constantly worried that I forgot something because my bag seems empty, packing for kids seems like a constant balance. While I don't want to pack too much, I also don't want to end up in a situation where I don't have enough clothes or entertainment for them, especially when travelling by plane. This takes up time and I often don't have the time to just focus on packing for a half day because - well parenting! So I try to plan in advance, start thinking of what I'd like to take 4-5 days before the travel so I can wash it all in time and then pack the basics (clothes & shoes), while adding the stuff we still use on a daily basis the night before or the morning itself. This has helped me feel less stressed, just recognising that I don't want to do it in one evening, packing until midnight, and planning in little pockets of time for packing the days before.
Creating a packing template for each kid: This trip, I created a general packing list for the kids that I can copy and adapt for any future trips. I've been reluctant to do so because it always felt like so much work, but at the same time, I now realise that I am typing the same lists at every trip, trying to figure out what I forgot. Now I've got a list that actually worked for us - so all I have to do is adapt it for future trips!
Having mini date nights with my husband: when we are on holidays, it's often just the two of us with the kids, so we don't have the possibility of going out for dinner or a drink alone. Our kids sleep rather early even on holidays, so we like to spend the evening together once they are asleep, watch a movie or have a drink and chat. As there is no household to manage or clearing to do (or boxes to unpack in our current situation), I can enjoy these evenings guilt-free and it also feels like a mini-holiday for both of us. For this reason, it is important for us to book seperate bedrooms or an apartment, so we can talk or watch TV without worrying that we might wake the children.
Napping when the kids nap: another thing I like to enjoy during the holidays is an afternoon nap. At home, there is always a never-ending to do list waiting, but on holidays, I can put that aside and just have a nap without feeling like I should be doing other stuff. That being said, I truely believe that napping when the kids are napping is THE right thing to do even when you are not on holidays! You do need that rest time too. For me, it just feels different when I have a rest at home or on holidays and on holidays I can simply relax more.
Taking turns getting up in the morning: while we love spending time together as a family and this is really important to me, I also realised that it's very helpful if we can take turns getting up in the morning when the kids wake, or if one partner can look after the kids while the other might go for a swim or have a coffee on their own. This is definitely something I do not do enough because I want to spend time with my family but also because there is some guilt about not looking after the kids and doing something for myself - but everytime I do it, I am reminded of how good it feels and how much needed it is! I also tell myself that guilt is a feeling that does not benefit anyone and therefore, I can enjoy that time alone to recharge my energy.
A slower pace: while I miss the days of exploring a new place all day long, then dropping by the hotel for a quick change of clothes before dinner and a drink, I must say that I do enjoy the slower pace of travel too. The kids are very easily content with simple activities (a playground, a football field, a walk along the seafront…), so we try to pick a family activity to do every morning, head home for a rest after lunch and then go for a walk or to a playground or hang around the hotel (depending on the hotel facilities) in the afternoon. This also gives us adults more time to rest and relax - because let's face it, those holidays where we spent days exploring and walking were also quite tiring!
Planning some kids' activities: while the kids are content with simple activities, I have also noticed over the past year that my 4-year-old son needs other kids to play with. He is a very sociable kid and just loves being around other children. I'm hoping that the boys will play together when the little one is a bit older, but for now, we like to plan our holidays in a way that works for our whole family. This means that I like to research some local activities that the boys can join, like a kids' yoga class, a playgroup, a music class… as well as some playgrounds or cafés with play areas. We also enjoy going to family hotels that offer childcare because our oldest son is always very excited to go there and play with other kids - and it allows us to spend an hour or two together, maybe go to the pool or spa, or finish our dinner quietly while the children play. For us, it is important that the children want to go there, we don't want them to feel obliged, but so far, our oldest has regularly been asking to go to the kids club! We will see how our youngest feels about this in October when we go on beach holidays in a lovely family hotel in Spain :).
How does your family travel? What helps you relax and what little habits and routines have made your travel a little bit easier? I'd love to hear your opinion :)
If you feel stressed out at the thought of planning trips with your family and would like to work through this, I offer a 90-minute deep dive coaching session where we can analyse where you are at right now and set clear action steps for you to feel more calm and relaxed when embarking on your next holiday. Drop me a mail if you’d like to know more!