I don’t remember when I first came across the concept of matrescence. Yet once I read Amy Taylor-Kabbaz’ book Mama Rising, I knew that I was onto something. Amy writes that “motherhood changes you. Every fibre, every cell, every area. And with a little understanding, support and deep compassion, it will be the making of you”.

Just recently I finished an audio book of a romance novel, where the girl and the boy get together at the end. In the last chapter, she dreams of their future together, of slow days where she sits in bed writing novels while their baby is sleeping peacefully next to her. Listening to this ending made my body react. I felt the bliss of the main character, and at the same time, I saw the reality of motherhood as I’d gotten to know it and I realised that those images clashed.

I recently saw a post on Instagram that that mothers would like to hear more positive stories on motherhood - and not always the challenges that parents and mothers in particular are facing. As February is nearly over, I thought it was a good opportunity to take a moment and reflect back on the moments with my children that brought me joy in the past month.

Children are often sick, particularly in winter. When they can’t go to nursery, childcare gets challenging with parents needing to work. In Switzerland, it’s possible to hire an emergency nanny in these cases - but would I want my child to be with a stranger when they are feeling unwell? We need to find creative solutions and think out of the box in order to have workplaces where parents feel welcome and supported.

Despite many amazing opportunities in my career up until I became a mother, I felt like a failure on so many occasions. Learning about competing devotions and re-defining my values on my matrescence journey has helped me find clarity in what was truly important to me and take decisions that align with who I am in this season of my life.

A little update on what I’ve been up to in the past 6 months and why it’s been so silent on this blog.

I recently met another mom and we discussed about judgement of others. As parents, we are exposed to a lot of judgement because a lot of people have an opinion of how you “should” be parenting and raising your children. From the amount you work as a mom (the work hours of dads are never questioned), to the way your kid behaves in public to the things you let them do (or not do) - there will always be someone judging somewhere.

While recently reading a post on postpartum depression on Substack, I started reflecting on my own journey. The author explains “why unkind men, not hormones, are the leading cause of postpartum depression”. While I personally wouldn’t put the entire blame on men, I do agree that society in general is also playing an important role. But let me start from the beginning…

Motherhood is hard - the sleepless nights, fulfilling needs of tiny humans, toddler tantrums and opinionated little kids. There is so much joy to it, but at times, it feels like we are stuck in a hamster wheel, just functioning from one day to the next and not having the time to take a breath.

If you are a millenial like me, you grew up believing that you can have it all: the career, the family, the life you’ve always dreamed about. While in theory, this sounds great, once we become mothers, a lot of things change and it takes a lot of effort to not fall into the old patterns of the woman looking after the house and family while the man is going to work.