Home is…

A PLACE. This is one of the most common definitions of home, the place where we live. At the same time, a house is not a home and it does make an effort in order to create that feeling of finally being home. It’s a feeling of comfort, of ease, of cosiness, of joy, of the familiarity of the place. And the lack of it can make us feel lost. I remember coming back to our new house that we had lived in for about 3 weeks before going on holidays in the summer. I couldn’t remember where the dishes were in the kitchen and kept opening all the cupboards and drawers when setting the table. We were still unpacking boxes and not everything had it’s space in our house. We hadn’t really made any big memories there yet, some furniture was still missing and the cellar area was a huge chaos (to be fair, it still is quite messy even 5 months later).

This made me realise that a house is a home because of the people who live in it and the memories we make, but also the familiarity of it. It takes time to create a home, it’s a process. And it’s something that has never been more important to me than now that I am a mom. I want my kids to have a place that they are comfortable in, that they love going back to, where they can feel safe and curious, where they can learn and explore.

At the same time, home for me is not just the place that I live in. Home for me will always be Luxembourg - the country that I grew up in, where I spent my childhood and teenage years, where I learned, loved, explored and started growing into the person that I am now. It’s the place that holds a lot of childhood memories for me and the place where my parents and friends live. It’s also the place where working has made me feel at home in ways that I’ve not experienced since I left, simply because of the language, the culture, the habits that are just deeply rooted inside of me.

And then there is Singapore. My home away from home and the place that will forever be in my heart. It’s the place that has been with me all of my life. I remember sitting in a plane to Singapore as a kid giggling through turbulences while people around me started to feel queasy (that sick passenger would absolutely be me today), that feeling of being embraced by the heat and humidity the moment you step out of the air-conditioned halls of Changi Airport, walks along the river and Orchard Road, eating ice kachang with my uncle and spending time with my family. Singapore is the only place that I voluntarily travelled to with my parents all through my teenage years and adulthood. It’s where I met my husband for the first time, and it was the moment I realised that he was a person that I could trust, be honest with and who would always stay in my life in one way or another.

A PERSON. But most importantly, and I’d say this is something I’ve felt since I met my husband, home is a person. Home was a bit topic at our wedding, with one of the songs performed in church being Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. It’s the ease I’ve felt in our relationship since we met, the joy of falling asleep and waking up next to each other. It’s the certainty that despite the bumps in the road, he is the home that I have chosen many years ago.

While being able to feel at home with one person is pure bliss, home is also to me those friends that have been with me for most of my teenage life. The people that I don’t see often anymore because of life and because I live in another country, but that I still always go back to once I am back in Luxembourg. They are the people who have seen me grow up into the woman I am today, who’ve been by my side through all the teenage drama and first love stories. We’ve gone on holidays together, spent countless evenings watching movies, cried and laughed. It’s the history that makes that whenever we are together, it feels like we have never been apart, even if our lives are very different at this point.

FAMILY. On top of all of that, home to me is family. I never felt this overwhelming love or emotions that you often read about when our sons were born. To me, it simply felt normal, unquestionable that they were now here and part of our family. It was the same sense of ease that I felt when I met my husband, when we decided, years later, to give our relationship a go, when we decided to get married. It’s not always easy and we face our challenges, but at the same time, they are the people I will always be able to come back to.

And that is one of the feelings that I want my kids to grow up with. Although I have not had the ONE childhood home, I grew up knowing that no matter what happened in my life, I would always have a home with my parents. I know that this is a luxury and maybe to a certain extend, it means that I never really take a risk because I have a safety net to fall back on - but at the same time, I want my children to have this feeling of knowing that we will always be there for them, no matter what will happen in their lives.

HOME is for me about the feelings we have when we are with a person, in a place. It’s about the family we have and the family we surround ourselves with. It’s love, joy and ease - the feeling of being exactly where you are meant to be in your life.